I stopped looking for “The One.”
Some of you may be thinking, “WHAT?! A Calvin College student has given up her search for marriage?”
Over the past year, I realized something: a huge portion of my conversations with God revolved around boys.
I approached a lot of those conversations with a strong sense of entitlement; “God, I’m working really hard to follow your will for my life, and I am doing all that I can to become a better person. I think I’m doing pretty well, so if you wouldn’t mind, can you give me a spoiler alert about the guy you have in mind for me? That would be fantastic.”
It’s almost like we believe that having a relationship with Christ guarantees us a relationship with one of His followers. We use the term, “Future husband/wife,” assuming that there will be a future husband/wife.
We tell our single friends, “Just be patient, God will bring you someone special when you’re both ready!”
While there is no fine print stating that a relationship with Jesus includes a free soulmate, we usually assume that He will bring us one.
But what if He doesn’t?
I mean, Paul was an incredibly prominent figure in the Bible, and he was #SingleForLife!
So, what if God’s plan doesn’t include a marriage partner?
If you were to ask me this question a year ago, my heart would have dropped into my stomach. But this year, things are different. I have realized that I have to be okay with a life of singleness, even if that is not the life God has for me. I strongly believe that we have to be content and satisfied in Christ before we are ready to entertain the idea of a relationship. When we find peace in Christ, peace floods all aspects of our lives.
It is for this reason that I have stopped looking for “the one”:
The best relationships do not take place when we pursue/wait to be pursued by “the one,” they happen when two individuals pursue Christ and collide in the process.
As a fly ball soared above the outfield, teammates Daniel Nava and Kevin Kiermaier, sprinted across the grass with one goal: catch the ball—the result? The catch of a lifetime.
Both players were so focused on the ball that they collided in the outfield, caught the baseball, and completed synchronized backward somersaults (points for creativity), all within a matter of seconds. The men jumped to their feet, punctuating their incredible play with a fit of giggles and a high-five as they jogged back to the dugout.
The outfielders collided because each kept his eye on the ball. If one or both of the players had been distracted by the actions of their other teammates or the noise coming from their fans, neither would have caught the ball. Nava and Kiermaier focused and followed the ball, and as a result, they were a part of an incredible play.
These players didn’t plan on doing somersaults through the outfield, or sharing a high-five and some laughs, but because they both did their best to make the play, every other experience was an added bonus, not an expectation.
So let’s stop pursuing people, and start pursuing Christ.
Let’s not get so focused on finding “the one” that we ignore the One who Loved us first.
Let’s keep our eyes facing upward, and we’ll end up wherever we are supposed to be, along with anyone else who was meant to be there with us.
Now that’s the catch of a lifetime.